i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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