How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
