Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
