Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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