I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
