we're blogging at a bar
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize