i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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