I love black thongs
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
