bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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