there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
