People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
