saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize