Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
