this beer tastes like vomit already
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize