yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
