don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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