I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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