goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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