my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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