I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize