doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
