Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
