so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
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Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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