pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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