My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize