ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize