The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
