i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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