I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My penis needs a shock collar
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
