I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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