It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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