So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.