i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I skipped work to stalk him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
your like the ambassador to my penis.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him