how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
