He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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