Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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