Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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