Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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