very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
