His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Even my vagina gasped.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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