But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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