Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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