Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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