just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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