i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
