(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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