well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize