And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize