Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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