I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
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"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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