with your own penis?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
