Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
