Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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