I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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