Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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