rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
