Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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