any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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