Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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