it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
COCAINE IS GR8
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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