I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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