This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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