I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
