your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize