Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
