Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
