I think i peed on brittanys purse
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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