when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
